I was brought up in a God-fearing family. My
father read the Bible to us in family worship twice a day. I was about seven
when I began to be interested in reading the Bible myself, but it was with
little conviction of sins. Usually I was content with myself, and just
occasionally I would think about what Dad was telling us.
However, a few years later, I was hit with the realization that hell was REALLY
waiting for the wicked. I wasnít at all sure that I believed on Jesus Christ
as my Saviour. A feeling of horror and guilt would sometimes come. I remember
from this time, though, some things God was clearly doing for me; for example
when I was in physical danger the Lord would answer my prayers for help. This
gave me a greater awareness of the truth and mercy of God, and I kept on asking
for salvation, and for assurance of it.
I remember once when we had all sung psalm 27, "The Lordís my light and
saving health", and God was beginning to show me what He is really like.
And something from John Bunyanís book "The Heavenly Footman" really
stirred me: "What shall I say? Time runs; and will you be slothful?... Your
souls are worth a thousand worlds; and will you be slothful? The day of death
and judgement is at the door; and will you be slothful?... The curse of God
hangs over your heads; and will you be slothful?"
When I was about thirteen, the Lord began to reveal to me what Christís
atoning death on the cross had accomplished. I already knew the words, but this
wasnít something from manís wisdom. I realized more than ever, why Jesus
shed His blood; I loved the story of the crucifixion and resurrection in the
Gospel of John.
But I still did not have assurance of salvation, and after this I began to get
complacent. I started to slacken in my search and lean on the things of the
world for my stay. A little of the ways of the world isnít too bad is it? I
found out Ė yes Ė it is too bad!
When I was seventeen God warned me; there was absolutely no way out and I knew
it, and the words of David here were for me: "There is no soundness in my
flesh because of thine anger; neither is there any rest in my bones because of
But one day I opened up the Bible and by the grace of God saw John 5:24:
"Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that hears my word, and believes on him
that sent me, has everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation; but is
passed from death unto life." Over a period of time I kept seeing verses
like that, and they were full of meaning to me. Gradually I began to realize it:
"He that hears my word, and believes..." My prayer became "Lord,
I believe, help my unbelief!"
I do not know when I was converted; but I know for certain that "whereas I
was blind, now I see." God called me in His everlasting love when I was
dead in sin, and He has given me eternal life! Now I know that the Lord Jesus
Christ is my Saviour, and He is still strengthening me in faith.
To everyone who is searching, I have this to say: never give up. And if youíre
not even looking, start now. "Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and you
shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you."